My Husband’s Family Gave Me a Chore List for the Family Vacation—While They Relaxed on the Beach
It was supposed to be the perfect getaway—a relaxing family vacation by the beach. After months of hectic work and responsibilities, I was looking forward to unwinding, catching up on some much-needed rest, and simply enjoying the sun and sand. Little did I know, my idea of a vacation was about to collide with the expectations of my husband’s family, and what was meant to be a relaxing week turned into a whirlwind of chores and frustration.
We arrived at the beach house early on a Saturday afternoon, and the view was absolutely stunning. The waves crashed against the shore, the sun was shining, and there was a light breeze in the air. My husband, Tom, and I had been planning this trip for months. We thought it would be a great way for both our families to bond, a chance for everyone to relax and have fun together. I was excited to finally escape the daily grind, but I had no idea what I was truly in for.
As soon as we arrived, I was introduced to the house’s layout, unpacked our bags, and then we made our way to the beach to meet up with Tom’s family. The rest of his relatives—his parents, his siblings, and their spouses—were already there, lounging on beach towels, dipping their toes into the ocean, and basking in the sun. It was everything I imagined it would be—a group of people just enjoying their vacation.
But then, the unexpected happened.
Tom’s mom, Linda, who is always very organized and loves to have control over every situation, called me over. She handed me a clipboard with a list of tasks written neatly in her precise handwriting. I stared at it in disbelief. The list had everything on it—everything from making sure everyone had enough drinks, to preparing snacks, to coordinating beach games, to ensuring the kids were all kept busy and happy. There were even “house duties,” like tidying up the kitchen, sweeping the floors, and making sure the bathrooms were stocked with towels and toilet paper.
I tried to smile politely, but inside, I felt a rising sense of dread. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. My mind immediately raced to the thought: Was this really happening?
“Linda, I thought we were all here to relax,” I said cautiously, trying not to sound too upset. “I thought the whole point of a family vacation was to unwind.”
She smiled sweetly, not a hint of hesitation. “Oh, honey, I know. But someone has to keep things running smoothly, right? Don’t worry—everyone will chip in!” She gestured toward the others, all of whom were still lounging under umbrellas, some sipping drinks, others napping.
I looked around and saw that everyone was in their beach clothes, completely relaxed. They had no intention of helping. The chore list was solely mine to manage.
As the day went on, I found myself bouncing between the beach and the house, handling every task on the list while everyone else continued to enjoy themselves. The whole situation felt so unfair. I didn’t want to be the one running around while everyone else relaxed—especially when I had hoped this trip would be a chance for us all to recharge.
By the second day, things had not improved. I was still the one responsible for setting up meals, cleaning up afterward, and making sure everyone’s needs were met. When I mentioned to Tom that I was feeling overwhelmed, he shrugged it off. “It’s just how things are. Mom likes to be in control. You know that.” His words were dismissive, and it felt like he didn’t fully grasp the issue.
The days bled together, and my frustration grew. I began to resent the idea that I was there to serve, not to enjoy. I loved Tom and his family, but this vacation was quickly turning into something I had not signed up for. I began to feel like I was invisible, a mere caretaker rather than a participant in the vacation. My husband’s family was living it up on the beach while I was stuck with a never-ending list of tasks.
One evening, after everyone had gathered for dinner (which, of course, I had prepared), I decided to speak up. I told Tom and his family how I was feeling, how unfair the situation seemed, and how it was draining me. To my surprise, his siblings, who had been silent until then, nodded in agreement. “We didn’t realize you were feeling this way,” his sister Sarah said. “We thought we were all just helping out where needed. Let’s make some changes.”
The conversation wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. After that night, Tom’s family started pitching in more—setting up their own drinks, helping with meals, and taking responsibility for their own children. Slowly, the dynamics began to shift, and I was able to enjoy the last few days of the vacation without the constant worry of managing everything.
The whole experience taught me something important about boundaries and self-care. While I love my husband’s family and want to help, I also need to take care of myself. A family vacation is about relaxation and enjoyment for everyone, not just one person shouldering all the work. After that, I made it clear to Tom that future vacations would be a shared responsibility, and that I would never again take on a chore list while everyone else enjoyed the sun and sand.
